Last Letter
by Errol's Feather
Summary: Catherine's last letter to Grissom with her last thoughts before she died.
1. Chapter 1

**_Authors Note : _**This story came to my mind as well I've been having a grey day, so I though I share it. For those of you that should be sensitive of the material, please do not read.

_**DISCLAIMER**_**:** I don't own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and I don't make any money from it

**_Warning: _**Suicide.

_**Last Letter.**_

_Dear Gilbert, my beloved Grissom. It has been to long since I wrote to you, I know, but the matter of fact is that I haven't felt up for writing to you lately. In fact I haven't been up for anything right now. It is all crumbling down on me. And to be honest I don't know how to handle it anymore._

_It was easier back in the old days, when you were here, we were two against the world, now I am only one and I am just not strong enough. _

_I can't do it all._

_Work, house, the business and my little butterfly._

_I know I am selfish when I say that I wish you had never left, but I do, I really do as I needed you here. I need you here, by my side. Forever, for always. I hate being alone Gilbert._

_Do you miss me as I miss you, I sometimes wonder? _

_Am I ever in your thoughts?_

_Do you miss us and what we had?_

_I do as I loved you back then in every way, even when with Eddie, maybe more when we were over. I hoped we would become something. I hoped that you loved me too. It always seemed like you did, even in your letters._

_Why couldn't you have come back for me when you ended it with Sara? Come back to me and the little butterfly, I know you miss her. And she misses you._

_I know when you get this, I will be no more, but know that I love you with all my heart, and I really tried. I really did. Please take care of her for me, please my bugman._

_Your Catherine, Willowgirl._

* * *

Silent tears were dripping down on the paper as she slowly folded it together and put in and envelope, marked with his name, hoping he would get it, and that he would understand her.

She really missed him, in fact so much that it hurt.

If he could have only stayed or come back maybe things would have been different. Now on the other hand she saw no other choice. Even if it tore her up to leave her little girl behind. To leave him behind. The love of her life.

More tears, they were flooding over as she swallowed the pill that would soon end her life.

Soon she lay lifeless on the floor, her last picture before it went black was the first time she met him and when her little butterfly was born.

Lindsay found her later the same day. She had taken time of from school to visit her mother, instead she found herself motherless. As tears steamed from her eyes by the fact she was now and orphan, she saw the envelope for Grissom and whispered, "Oh mommy, it didn't have to end this way."

Yet for the strawberry blonde it did, it ended just that way.

* * *

Feedback always welcome and very much appreciated :o)


	2. Chapter 2

**_Authors Note: _**On Request from El Gringo Loco I decided to do a second chapter from this story, if you read it I really hope you like it. And thank you for making me do this :o)

I also did it answer some questions on what happened after Catherine's death.

**_Life After Death_**

Grissom got the news of Catherine's death from Sara of all people. It hit him hard, in fact he took the first plane over. As it landed he took a cab over to the Willow residence to be there for the young butterfly.

He rang the doorbell only to find her in tears. He quickly dragged her into his strong, protective arm, whispering some reassuring words. Feeling her shiver against him from her heavy sobs. Wondering what had made her mother leave her like that.

"Was there any warnings?" he asked her.

"No, but she left you something," said Lindsey and handed him the letter as they both sat down on the couch.

He quickly opened the envelope and red it in shock, wondering why she hadn't called him instead, he would have come at once if he knew. Then again he could have done that. Why hadn't he one that when he in his gut knew that she might need him. Why hadn't he come back for her?

The woman he loved, the woman he had missed so much. Tears were starting to fall from his eyes as it went up for him that he was the main reason that she had killed herself. He was the reason why the young girl next to him now was an orphan.

"I loved you too," he whispered, knowing it was too late to utter those words.

"Bugman," Lindsey's weak voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked at her, her eyes showed only what he already knew; she was crushed in every possible way.

"Yes little one," he spoke, wondering how he could ever make it up to her.

"Will you stay?" she asked, her voice was shivering, and her eyes seemed insecure.

"I will, I promise you I will arrange everything when it comes to the funeral, and I will stay after," he said, his voice was steady, even if his eyes showed another story.

"For how long?" she wanted to know, she didn't want him to leave again, now that he was finally there.

"I'll never leave you again," he said, gently stroking the young girl, trying to calm her. He figured that that was the least he could do after what she had been though the last days. Besides he was the main reason why she was now an orphan.

* * *

The funeral took place three days after Grissom's return; he sat at the front row with Lindsey and Catherine's mother. Lindsey were clinging to him hardly, crying uncontrollable through the whole ordeal. She was of course at the reception with them all, but Grissom drove her home shortly after only to return to talk to the ones that had shown up.

"So you're back," said Nick, looking at his former boss with red eyes.

"I am back yes, I had some things to deal with here," said Grissom truthfully.

"For how long will you stay?" asked Greg curiously.

"Until I end my days, I have a young girl to care for," he said with a heavy sigh.

"You're going to care for her daughter, even if she is not yours to care for," said Sara, looking at him with shocked eyes.

"That's where you are wrong, I should have come back for them a long time ago, if I had this wouldn't have happened. Now if you all will excuse me, I have a daughter to take care of," he said, and with that he left them.

"Do you believe that," said Sara, still in shock.

"Actually I do yes, she was always his, even if he came too late to be with her, he can always care for her young one, which to be honest is what they both need right now," said Nick with a smile.

* * *

Grissom did keep his word as he never again left Lindsey and in time he would become like a father to her, which was a very good thing. The two continued to live at Catherine's old residence until he in time passed on. By that time they had managed to make a lot of happy memories. As she and her husband watched his coffin be lowered into the ground she knew only one thing for certain. He was after all this time finally reunited with her mother and they would both be watching over her from heaven.

* * *

Feedback always welcome and very much appreciated :o)


End file.
